You know, if it's not one thing, it's a million fucking other things and it's really starting to piss me off and frustrate me. aaahhhhhh!!!!

~Paige

Yea, it's been a while since I've posted anything so I finally figured that I would because so many things have just been running crazy through my mind that I finally just need to get it all out. Most of this probably won't make sense to a lot of people so you can just ignore this if you want to. Most of this is just going to be rambling off the next thing that I think of anyways. So too many things have been happening at once again and it kinda sucks. And with things that happened today I've just been wondering why can't things ever be easy? How am I supposed to tell them the truth? How am I supposed to tell them that I can't stay in this house anymore? How am I supposed to to that to them, tell them that this house at times has literally almost killed me and I honestly don't know if I could handle staying in this house any longer than I have to. And with everything that is happening and has happened before my heart just aches so much sometimes that it almost feels like it's bleeding. All I want sometimes is for the pain to go away, for something to just take it away because there are times when it even hurts to breathe. All I want is to be free but I don't know how to do that. I want so much to just let myself be who I am and be happy but I am so afraid of it. I just don't know what to do. Sometimes I feel like I have no idea what I'm doing and I'm just going in circles and it can be so frustrating.

Ok, perhaps enough rambling for one night. I'll try to post again sometime soon.

~Paige

Haha, it's amazing sometimes how much things can change. Although this time it's been a good change for once. I feel really happy and that's something that I haven't truely felt in a very long time so this feels really good. I just wish that I could make everything for everyone like this.

AAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ok, this post is really only for one person, so if you're not that person, you can just ignore this if you want to. Steve, is everything ok? I'm just asking because I kind of feel like you're avoiding me and I just don't know if I did something to upset you or what. I really miss being able to talk to you and seeing you and I don't know what's happened. If you read this anytime soon, please just call me or e-mail me or im me or something please. I miss you and I just want to talk to you.

~Paige

It's me again. Ok, well no duh it's me, it's my blog, who else would it be? Yea, well anyways, I kinda feel like I'm going out of my mind right now. Why can things never be simple? Why do things always have to get so freaking complicated? I've been trying to find a way to fix things, but nothing that I'm doing seems to be working. I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings, but I'm getting to the point where I have to do something to fix this whole thing. People think that this would be a good problem to have, but it's really not. It sucks!! Blah, onto other things. Ok, well actually my mind is drawing a total blank right now, so I guess that's all for today. bye everyone!

~Paige

Hey, it's me. So I finally have some time again to post. Now the question is, what do I say? Well, my life has been crazy as usual for the last couple of days. Between school and work, I barely ever have time to slow down and just do nothing. I'd like to be able to just do nothing for an entire day again sometime soon but who knows when that's going to happen. Most of the time I really don't mind working because it gets me out of the house but there's just times when it really freaking sucks. Like when you have to deal with stupid people, both that come into work and the ones that I have to work with. And the other day this guy that I absolutuely can not stand came into work and he was trying to hit on me and every other female in the store and he just doesn't get the hint that no one is interested. He's just one of those really dumb ass guys that just give other guys a really bad name. Sorry, enough with the rambling on about work. Onto other more random things. Oh, like all of the stuff that I've been having to do recently to start to get ready for graduation. Like today when I had to hand in the form for cap and gown and planning the graduation parties and everything like that. It's just weird to think about, that in less than 4 months I'm going to be done with high school. There's part of me that's really happy because I am so sick sometimes with dealing with all of this high school crap but then there's also this part of me that doesn't to leave because I'm kind of afraid to go out into the world and I'm going to miss everyone. I don't, I guess I'll just find ways to deal with everything as it comes along because that's what I've done with everything else so why should this be any different?

And this really has nothing to do with anything, but I've just been thinking about it, so I decided to just write it down to try to get it out of my head. It's just that I can really confuse the hell out of myself sometimes. I just think about things too much and I end up going in circles with things. I'm so glad that I have a chance to be happy but there's still this part of me that's kind of afraid to let myself be too happy because I've just seen too many things to not be somewhat afraid. I know that what happens with me has nothing to do with what I've seen but I still can't help being a little afraid. I don't even know if that makes sense. Somehow it does to me but it just seems like sometimes when I try to explain that to other people they just don't really understand it.

Ok, well I think that I'm done for today. I'll write again later. Bye!

Hi, it's me, Paige, and this is my blog. I was kinda talked into doing this, but I don't really mind because I've been wanting to do this for a while anyways. Well, I don't really have a lot of time to post anything else right now but I will as soon as I have the chance. Bye!